B-A-Light Productions

As someone who has experienced having and then losing a child, I understand what pride and joy is, and then the emptiness that follows when it has been ripped from you.  This morning as I went through my normal routine I considered the question of how does a couple obtain pride and joy in their life in the absence of children?    Whether you have lost your only child or you feel “Barren” because you have yet to be blessed with that gift, I believe the emptiness is the same. 

My life for the past few years has been empty and meaningless.  I have just existed only doing what is necessary to keep the relationships around me healthy but shutting out the rest of the world.  I have tried to fill that emptiness with everything imaginable, tv, games, books, internet, anything to keep my mind in a perfect imaginary world and out of my painful one, but all of those things only made my life more miserable and empty.  Today, as I pondered that question, I thought to myself, “Why do we have this overwhelming urge to reproduce?”  For me, it has been a dream since childhood to be a mommy, so why did God give me this dream only for it to feel crushed after so many years of trying?  Unfortunately, I do not have the answer for that one, but I believe I have found an answer for the emptiness that stems from it.  Fill that void with God and LIVE YOUR LIFE!  Take advantage of not having to chase after kids and start chasing after God, read your Bible, Pray, and then do something productive and that brings joy to your life.  Figure out what talent God has given you and do it.  Make new friends, and spend time with Family and people who make you laugh.  Don’t spend too much time in the four walls of your house moping and depressed and lonely, get out!   Go for a walk.  Do something other than just exist.  God created us to do so much more than what we are doing. 

So my prayer Lord, is that you will fill this void in my life, and help me to chase you, for your dream is bigger than mine.